Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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