Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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