How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
