Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
