I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How does it feel to date your dad?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
