i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
