and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
