her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
