Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize