the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
