he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
wow bdsm is so cute
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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