It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
