Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I want to have your abortion
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
