This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
