i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
