i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
There's even glitter on my cock...
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