apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
