So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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