the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
