in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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