End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
