Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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