Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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