You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
