Ambien. No doubt about it.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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