Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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