your thong is hanging out like whoa
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
