are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize