I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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