This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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