I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize