Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
where am i from again
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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