you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
