we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
