I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
