I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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