i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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