I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize