I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
