I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
