are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I am available for nakedness
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