hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
