I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
