How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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