Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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