Your face is a jimmy john
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
