I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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