if i can run in heels then i can drive
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize