I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Oh god it's open bar.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
