I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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