My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
