How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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