I want to make a zoo with you.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
