yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize