I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
