Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
