I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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