But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
