So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
