just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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