My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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