i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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