Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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