The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize