I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
