why didn't you poke me back
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize