How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
